CN: Discussion of bottom surgery and private parts
You might have noticed that I haven’t been updating my blog in a while. Well, there’s a reason for that. I was finally able to get vaginoplasty and have been recovering from that surgery. Now, I want to clarify two things. First, trans people don’t owe cis people information about private things like what surgeries we get. I am choosing to be open because I believe I can do good by educating others. Second, not every trans person wants bottom surgery and not everyone who wants it is able to get it. Trans people who can’t or won’t get bottom surgery (or any other form of transition-related treatment) are just as valid as the ones who do.
Before I could get the surgery, I had to go through a significant amount of gatekeeping. I had to get two letters from two different therapists after having been living full time for over a year. I am against this gatekeeping of trans healthcare. It’s paternalistic and places a great burden on trans people seeking gender affirming surgeries. I also had to undergo extensive body hair removal to prepare the area for surgery so that I wouldn’t have hair on the inside of my new vagina.
My surgery was delayed multiple times due to various factors. I started seeking it a year into my transition but didn’t actually get it until I was over three years in, during which time I met with my surgeon multiple times. When the day of the surgery finally came, I was so nervous that something would happen to delay it once again. Right before going into the operating room, I met with the surgeon so that he could run things by me one more time.
There’s something I should clarify about vaginoplasty, since a lot of cis people have a certain misconception about it. The doctor doesn’t “cut off” the penis. It’s a far more complicated procedure than that and it produces much better results than what cis people think vaginoplasty is. I watched some videos of the procedure when preparing myself for the surgery and they were fascinating. I recommend you look them up if you have the stomach for it.
The hospital stay wasn’t too bad overall, which is good because I was there for a little over a week. I’m still recovering and aftercare is very involved. Some of the things I am doing for aftercare are things I will have to do for the rest of my life. This is a small price to pay for feeling significantly more at home in my body. Getting the surgery has had a significant positive effect on me and people who know me have noticed. It hasn’t fixed all of my problems, but it has helped and was well worth it.
I hope this was informative. Transitioning has been quite a journey for me so far. I’ve changed a lot over the past few years and I’m very grateful that medical technology has advanced to the point where such a transformation is possible.